Dear Moira
My daughter is 13 and has had eczema since she was 2 years old. She has started to struggle a lot recently with how much eczema can change her appearance and feels it is never consistent. How can I help her cope with this?
As parents, we often focus on managing the physical symptoms of eczema, the itching, discomfort and endless moisturising. But for many teenagers, the emotional impact can be just as difficult.
For teenagers and young adults, appearance and fitting in can feel incredibly important. Because eczema is so unpredictable, it can leave them feeling frustrated, self-conscious and as though they have little control over how they look from one day to the next.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many young people with eczema struggle with their confidence, particularly during adolescence.
Why Eczema Can Affect Confidence
Eczema isn’t just a skin condition. It can affect how a young person feels about themselves.
Your daughter may worry that people notice her skin, avoid photos during a flare-up or feel anxious about social situations. The unpredictable nature of eczema often makes these feelings worse. Even when she’s following her skincare routine, flare-ups can still happen.
It’s important to remind her, and yourself, that eczema naturally has good days and bad days. A flare-up isn’t a sign that she’s done something wrong.
Start by Listening
When your teenager says they hate how their skin looks, your instinct may be to reassure them by saying, “It doesn’t look that bad.”
While this comes from a place of love, what they often need most is to feel understood.
Try saying:
- “I can see why you’re feeling upset.”
- “That must be really frustrating.”
Feeling heard can make a huge difference.
Help Her See Herself Beyond Eczema
When someone has lived with eczema since early childhood, it can become part of how they define themselves.
Encourage your daughter to spend time doing the things she enjoys, whether that’s sport, music, art or seeing friends. Building confidence in different areas of life reminds her that she is so much more than her skin.
Talk About Social Media
Teenagers are surrounded by images of seemingly perfect skin, but much of what they see online is filtered, edited or carefully selected.
Having open conversations about the difference between images on social media and reality can help your daughter develop a healthier perspective and reduce unhelpful comparisons.
Give Her Some Control
Although eczema itself can be unpredictable, giving your teenager some ownership of managing it can boost confidence.
This might include:
- Carrying moisturiser with her.
- Learning to recognise the early signs of a flare-up.
- Asking questions during medical appointments.
Feeling involved can help reduce the sense that eczema is something that simply happens to her.
Know When to Seek Extra Support
It’s normal for eczema to affect confidence from time to time. However, if your daughter is avoiding school, withdrawing from friends, becoming increasingly anxious or showing signs of persistent low mood, it’s worth speaking to your GP or dermatology team.
Looking after emotional wellbeing is just as important as treating the skin itself.
Final Thoughts
Watching your child struggle with their confidence can be difficult, particularly when you know how hard they are working to manage their eczema.
Whilst you can’t always prevent a flare-up, your support and understanding can make a real difference. Helping your daughter recognise that she is much more than her eczema can support her to build confidence and resilience over time.
If you would like to speak with a member of our team, please email info@eos.org.uk and we can arrange a call to discuss information and resources that may be helpful for you and your young person.
